Maya Preisler (girlwithagun) wrote,
Maya Preisler

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you probably won't like this much

I guess as anyone who is on FB knows, Chase Community Bank is giving away a cool million to a charity who wins the voting rounds. In general, this makes me feel pretty good about the world, hopeful that someone will be able to make a huge difference in the lives of others. In specific, it makes me sad to see how selfish a lot of the top charities are, especially the one currently ranked top in votes. Now, before I go any further, let me say that I support To Write Love On Her Arms. I think it's an excellent movement and deeply needed. As someone who was a chronic suicide attemptee and has many close friends deeply impacted by emotional and mental illnesses, abuse, self-injury, etc.... I get it, and I think it's a damn good thing. So please understand that when I say these things I am talking about myself, my family, my friends. It's not personal. It is what it is.

But I have a really hard time voting for it, so I didn't. Because to be quite honest, compared with some of the other charities out there, I find TWLOHA pales in comparison on the worthiness scale. If you're familiar with the recent Battlestar Galactica, then you'll appreciate what I mean when I talk about the numbers game. You see, from a mercenary perspective, you are a waste a space. As a privileged member of THE society of conspicuous consumption, you consume and account for a rather disproportionately large portion of the rather limited resources on this planet. So, while you are choosing SUV or hatchback, Nike or Adidas, Pepsi or Coke... the prices and products you enjoy come at a hidden cost you aren't even faced with. Craters have been dug in the sides of mountains so deep that you can see them from space. Entire villages are burned to the ground, men murdered, women raped, children abducted for militant service or removed of their hands, AIDS sewn in bodies like dandelion seed on the wind for the diamond you and every other woman covet. And still they struggle on for life. So if yours is something so cheap, so easily given, then give it up. For what the world spends on spoiled, selfish, ignorant you, it could spend on an entire village, maybe seven. So I save my votes and my money for people who want and actually need saving. If you could save one person or 100, what would YOU choose? 1 or 1,000? 10,000? In the long run, for the big picture of humanity, which decision better ensures survival of the species? It's a numbers game. The more people I save, the better humanity's chances at survival are.

But somewhere up in there it sounded like I wanted you to kill yourself, that I wanted you, me, and everyone we love to slit their wrists right now so an entire continent can survive. I don't. I want to be worth what the world spends on me. I want the world to spend less and gain more. I want to be worth the cost. I want to matter in the big picture. I want us all to want that. I want us to stop whining, step outside our self-absorbed narcissistic illusory existence and realize what /real/ horror looks like. I want us to take the strength we've won in our battle against our own issues and use it to break down the barriers in the world, fight the status quo, give comfort and love and security to our sisters and brothers. I want us to realize that this very life of privilege gives us super powers envied the world over and I want us to use them to save the world and ourselves.
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