I go through these places in my life that I like to call "cocoon phases." I feel like I'm waiting for something, stuck in limbo, on the edge of becoming something else, but not entirely sure what. I think it's taken me so long to realize it this time because I'm pretty aware of what the transformation is going to be. It's kind of... strange. I feel pretty detached from a lot of thing; my inner vision of the future is so clear that I really can't be bothered to care about things that aren't in that image. It may sound cold and unfeeling, but honestly it's a very soothing place to be. Sometimes I slip out of it, into instant anxiety and frustration. I've found looking at the after picture of my cocoon phase makes it better.
In sad news, my work was apparently left out of the magazine that the entire fucking rest of my area is in. Mary said we'll talk to the editor and figure out why. I can't help but feel disappointed and left out. Our program was featured in a national magazine's spotlight on education... and I'm a blip in the blub... some photo credits for my friends' work. X_X I know my piece was politically charged, but it seems pretty unfair for them to arbitrarily exclude me like that. And to think I was going to buy one to show Mom and Grams. ;_; Bah.
Had a lovely trip to the museum today. Those places are like church for me. And of course, I found the one Kwan-yin in the whole building. ^_^ I'm trying to take it as a gentle nod from the Universe... "sorry you didn't get published, but hang in there, you are in the right place and on the right track."
My spine... makes everything else hurt. My stomach, my ribs, my head... *sigh* I dream of days without pain. For now, back to packing.
Oh, and since everyone is on facebook these days, are you? I'm under Maya Preisler. look me up!